💿 If You're In This Relationship, Don't Make The Same Mistakes I Did
What Inspired My Song "Hotel"
The Song I’ll Be Talking About Today:
Feel free to stream this while reading today’s newsletter.
I was trapped.
All I wanted to do was find the love of my life.
She had me fooled.
She wanted to keep me caged.
And I wanted out.
When we first started talking, she was too good to be true. She responded quickly to my texts, always complimented me, and took care of me the same way I took care of her.
But after this honeymoon phase, it was like watching a chameleon shedding its skin. Slowly, the person I thought I knew was drifting away and being replaced by someone I didn’t even recognize anymore.
Her patience turned into a short temper. Her politeness turned into disrespect — pointing out all the flaws I had — breaking me down.
Once the hooks were in, she dug deeper.
She would constantly check my phone, start fights, and come up with fake profiles of women to get me to cheat on her with herself.
She told me she had trust issues.
I was a hopeless romantic.
I told her we could work through it as long as she stopped testing our love.
After more yelling and crying, she finally agreed.
I couldn’t shake it off.
I was still holding onto the past — second guessing myself. I couldn’t believe who I thought I knew was gone. But maybe I could bring her back. Maybe I can fix her.
I didn’t want to tell anyone about it. I was embarrassed for her, and ashamed of myself for digging this deep of a hole to crawl out of.
But I convinced myself that maybe things could get better. Maybe she would learn to trust again.
That came with a few side effects.
Dealing with her for this long made me unconsciously build up walls I didn’t have before — so high that not even reason was entering anymore.
I trapped myself and inherited her insecurities, and she had no problems giving me new ones.
She told me to grow up. She told me to get another job that can support her and a family. We were only getting older, and she couldn’t afford to waste anymore time. She “chose” me, but I was somehow always in the way.
Nothing I did helped her improve. She didn’t want to make things better.
Despite everything, she stayed the same. I started to lose trust in her. A partnership that should’ve been safe became a wall of threats to defend against. We were fighting for survival rather than nurturing our peace. Resentment, secrets, and impatience started brewing.
Communication fell apart.
I started losing myself.
I started hiding my feelings from her. This fear of expression made me hide from myself as well. I wasn’t connected with my emotions anymore — I couldn’t listen to my inner voice.
Then, I finally snapped. I stooped down to her level and became just as toxic.
What started as good intention turned into the end for both of us.
Fan Shoutout
Here are my favorite comments from you all this past week.
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Love you all! Thank you for all the amazing support as always!